Why Pole Dancing Becomes an Obsession (and the Social Psychology That Explains It)
Pole dancing isn’t just a workout. It’s a place where people from every walk of life find friends, feel powerful in their bodies, and surprise themselves with what they can do. If you’ve ever wondered why people become so obsessed, there’s actually an explanation from social psychology: Optimal Distinctiveness Theory (ODT). In short, humans crave two things at the same time, to belong and to feel unique, and the best groups satisfy both. Isn’t that the best definition of pole dancing?
The Big Idea: Optimal Distinctiveness Theory (ODT)
ODT, developed by social psychologist Marilynn Brewer, says we’re always balancing two opposing needs: the need to be included and the need to stand out. We’re most attached to groups that are just right, welcoming enough to feel safe, distinct enough to feel special.
Researchers have tested ODT for decades and consistently find that people identify most strongly with groups that are moderately inclusive and meaningfully different from the mainstream. That’s exactly what many of us feel and why people might say, “Pole is my people… and it lets me be me.”
Why Pole Hits the Sweet Spot
1) A real sense of belonging
Pole studios function like ready-made communities. Newbies quickly find encouragement, shared goals, and inside jokes. Academic work on recreational pole dancing points to community, friendship, and support as core reasons women join and stay.
2) Permission to be different
At the same time, pole is still perceived (by some) as a “stigmatised activity” which actually heightens its distinctiveness. Studies describe pole as an “in-group” where people quietly relish doing something a bit taboo together. That edge makes membership feel special and identity-affirming, perfectly matching ODT’s prediction that we seek groups that are inclusive yet distinct.
3) Confidence and body image wins
Beyond community, research links recreational pole with improvements in body image, self-efficacy, and basic psychological needs, the good stuff that keeps motivation high. It’s common to hear “I fell in love with pole and then I fell in love with myself,” and there’s growing data to back that up.
4) Identity you can wear (heels optional)
Scholars note that recreational pole is a powerful space for negotiating femininity, strength, and sexuality on your own terms. For many, the clothes, the music, and the artistry are part of an identity that feels both authentic and chosen. Again, that’s ODT at work: a group that lets you belong while performing a version of yourself that feels distinct.
From First Class to “Can’t Miss”: How Obsession Builds
Quick early wins: Beginner gains come fast. Achieving your first spin or climb provides a reliable hit of achievement and social recognition in class. ODT predicts that positive feedback inside a valued in-group deepens identification, which reinforces attendance.
Visible progress paths: Unlike many gyms where everyone’s doing different things, pole classes move along shared journeys (combos, tricks, choreo). Shared milestones make belonging tangible, while personal style keeps distinctiveness alive.
Network effects: Community stretches from your studio to regional events and global Instagram friendships. The more connected you are, the more your pole identity is affirmed across contexts.
“Is Obsession Healthy?” How to Keep It Fun and Sustainable
It’s normal to want to train all the things once you’re hooked. The research is clear, though: consistency beats intensity for confidence and adherence. A recent multi-studio feasibility study showed high retention across an eight-week term while noting meaningful physiological and psychological benefits, a great reminder to pace your body so you can stay in it for the long run.
Practical guardrails:
Start with 1–2 classes per week and add slowly.
Cross-train smart (mobility, pulling strength), and respect recovery.
Choose goals that match your “why” (community, performance, artistry, strength), not Instagram’s.
Ready to start your pole dancing journey? We would love to help, get in touch with us today!
FAQ
What exactly is Optimal Distinctiveness Theory again?
It’s a theory explaining why we’re drawn to groups that let us belong without feeling lost in the crowd. We seek identities that are inclusive enough to feel safe and unique enough to feel special. Pole is a textbook case.
Isn’t pole too stigmatised to count as a “positive” group?
ODT says identification is about balancing needs, not only about status. In fact, some stigma can increase distinctiveness, which is one reason many participants feel a strong, proud identity as “a poler.”
Does the research really show benefits beyond vibes?
Yes. Studies tie recreational pole to improvements in body image, psychological need satisfaction, and group identity, alongside fitness gains.
Key Takeaway
Pole dancing thrives because it nails the human sweet spot: belonging and being uniquely you at the same time. That’s Optimal Distinctiveness Theory in action, and it’s why so many of us can’t imagine life without it.
References & Further Reading
Brewer, M. B. (1991). The social self: On being the same and different at the same time. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. (ODT foundation.)
Leonardelli, Pickett, & Brewer. Optimal Distinctiveness Theory: A Framework… (review chapter).
Nicholas et al. “It’s our little secret… an in-group” (motives for a stigmatized activity; pole).
Griffiths, Femininity, Feminism and Recreational Pole Dancing. (identity, friendship, community).
Tomlinson, Pole Dancing, Empowerment and Embodiment. (agency, empowerment).
Nicholas (2024). Exploring the psychological and physiological outcomes of recreational pole dancing (feasibility study).
Listen to the episode
Loved this breakdown? This blog was adapted from our Uncovered podcast chat on why pole dancers get obsessed. 🎧
